Zero sum game

Child sexual offenses are one of two things. They are one of the worst crimes that someone can do OR it is the worst thing of which one can be falsely accused. It is a zero sum game. It is not an exaggeration to say that it is easier to be on trial for murder than a sexual offense involving a child. In a murder situation the defense can present self defense evidence or the good ol "He needed killing" defense. There is no justification for the sexual offender whose victim is a child. Society is much more harsh on a sex offender than a murderer. There is no nationwide database requiring murderers to register for life. There are not restrictions on where they can work or live. No proposals from state legislators for murderer license plates or signs in their front yard.

What most people do not understand is how easily you can be sitting in the defendant's chair at trial accused of this horrible offense. Consider a divorce situation where there is going to be a custody fight. The atomic bomb of leverage is the accusation that the other parent abused the child sexually. Suddenly you are not worried about custody as much as spending around 20 plus years in prison. This is not as uncommon as you might think. It has also occurred that an angry teen, who has recently been grounded or otherwise disciplined, makes a false allegation to "show them" or desperate for attention discovers just how much attention adults give when the allegation is made. Hopefully the investigation reveals the true motive of the allegation but it does not prevent the damage to life and reputation.

Another example, is a simple misunderstanding involving bathing your own children. Children go through phases where they think it funny to talk about all things bathroom related. The child mentions at school that Daddy "touched" her private area while bathing. Teacher is required to report the statement. School nurse confirms the statement and reports to Child Protective Services. CPS talks to child and parents who deny any wrongdoing. However, Daddy must leave the home while the investigation is being conducted over the next 60 days or so. No contact with his children. CPS reports the incident to the police who now open an investigation. Now the police want to interview Daddy. If Daddy does not cooperate he is told he could lose his children. The police don't believe that Daddy did nothing wrong. They file their charges and Daddy's life is now out of control.

Now you get arrested and booked for this horrible offense. Your name and the charge are public record. Friends, family and co-workers are shocked. The boss tells you that you need to find another job. Now you are out of your house and job. Everyone treats you as if you actually did this offense and we have not been anywhere near a court of law yet. Also as a condition of your bond or release from jail to await trial, you can not only not see your children but you can not be anywhere that children gather. Parks, malls, schools and who knows where else. Remember you have not been convicted and have done nothing criminal.

Assume you go to trial. It will take days to complete the trial. In large part because it takes so long to find even 12 people that will at least say they can be fair and follow the law. If you are convicted, good luck on appeal or in prison. Probation is hard to come by if even available. Truly the allegation is almost enough to ruin your life, reputation and family. Even if you are found not guilty, the scarlet letter stigma remains around you in the minds of others. It is absolutely a zero sum game.